Slayers Questions and Fanmail!
by Papparazzi
Summary: Ever wanted so send fanmail to the slayers cast, or ask them any questions you want? Well, it is now possible! Just leave your fanmail/questions in the reviews and they'll be awnsered! All questions/fanmail will be answered guarantee or your money back!
1. Fangirls are scary

**Rio: Welcome to the Slayers Question and Fanmail Show!  
Daichi: Kaida is down there with the cast, they are all ready to answer fanmails and questions  
Rio: No, now let's begin...**

Kaida: Our first question is from LolipopCabaret...

_Dear Slayers gang, who do you think is the weakest?_

Kaida: Interesting question... let's see what the gang has to say...  
Lina: It's probably Martina... What has she ever done that has actually helped us?  
Gourry: Umm...  
Amelia: No-one with love and justice in their hearts is weak...  
Kaida: Oookay... Amelia, you do know that fangirls worldwide hate you... right?  
Amelia: Huh? Why?  
Kaida: Let's see, because you're annoying, Zelgadis loves you, you're a disgrace to the names princess and pacifist... Anyway, Zel? What do you think...  
Zelgadis: I think the weakest is probably Zangulus  
Zangulus: At least I have a sense of style...  
Kaida: With THAT hat...  
Zangulus: Whatever...

Kaida: Next question from HikaruAndKaoruILove...

_Dear Naga, Why are your breasts so big? And that outfit..._

Naga: Ohohohohoho... Well my dear, I take it from my mother, of course...  
Amelia: Gracia? What are you doing here?  
Naga: What? I am a character from Slayers? Right?  
Amelia: Yea, but only in the OVAs...  
Naga: Anyway, As I said, I take my chest from my mother...  
Lina: -mumbles something about breast size-  
Naga: Every girl has to be proud of her chest...right Lina?  
Lina: Why you!  
Kaida: No fireballs, no freeze arrow, no flare arrows and no dragon slaves...  
Lina: -mumbles-  
Naga: I'm also glad you asked about the clothes Ohohohohoho...  
Kaida: No annoying laughs either!  
Naga: It's a tradition for all girls in the family to wear clothes symbolising Bondage at a certain age... Soon it might be Amelia's turn...  
Amelia: WHAT? –Faints-  
Zelgadis: -Blush and nosebleed-

Kaida: Ok then, next we have some fanmail from Fateisloser

_Dear slayers gang, particularly the boys. I personaly think you're all hot. Gourry, even though you're as dumb as a doorknob, you got some big spunky muscles... Zel, who cares about your skin, you'll always be number one in the eyes of all fangirls –Fangirls: Whooo!- Xellos, you're the most sexy mazoku in town, please rape Filia and marry me._

Filia: What!  
Kaida: Interesting...  
Zelgadis: –huge blush- Like I really care about those love sick fangirls...  
Gourry: o.o What are we talking about? –that's why we love him-  
Xellos: I know I'm sexy... –starts stripping to the the song 'sexy back'  
Kaida: Xellos! You can strip later... I remeind you that both Martina and Zellas are here today...  
Xellos: What?  
Martina: Xellos-Sama! I don't care if you're a mazoku, I will forever follow you  
Zellas: -_- Xellos... –smokes cigarette- 

Kaida: Ok, last one... From PichiMichiMermaid

_Dear Zelga-bunny, Will you ever confess your love to Amelia... _

Zelgadis: One. I do NOT love Amelia... and Two...All the fangirls will kill us...  
Kaida: You mean Amelia?  
Zelgadis: They might come after me next... fangirls are scary...  
Everyone: -nods-  
Amelia: You...don't love me...  
Zelgadis: -Even bigger blush- (Kawaii!)  
Kaida: So, to finish up: They think Martina and Zangulus are the weakest, Naga gets her breast from her mother and it's a family tradition to dress like that, we all know that Zel and Xellos are the hottest guts in the history of Anime, and no, Zelga-bunny will never confess his love to Amelia 'cause fangirls will kill them both an-XELLOS! Did I say you could start stripping?  
Xellos: What? You know you like it –wink-  
Kaida: When you put it like that... Go on Zel, you too Gourry and Dynast!  
Zel, Gourry and Dynast: WHY?  
Kaida: Because I have the ability to make you...  
-They suddenly are on the stage, stripping with Xellos-  
Kaida: That's more like it!  
Amelia: -blush and faint-  
Lina: Come on guys, move those bodies!  
Naga: This came out a turn for the best...  
Zellas: Xellos! Dynast! Show what hot mazoku can do!  
Martina: Zangulus, why aren't you with them?  
Kaida: I'm on it... –Zangulus appears on stage stripping-  
Martina: Whoooo! Move those sexy limbs!  
Kaida: Well then, see you next time on: Slayers Questions and Fanmail!

**Rio: Who would have guessed it would have turned out as a stripshow...  
Daichi: That's what happens when Kaida's around...Just be thankfull we're up here...  
Both: -sigh of relief-  
Rio: If you want your questions or fanmail answered by the cast...  
Daichi: Leave your Question/Fanmail in the reviews... ^.^**


	2. Mothers, Mallets and scary fangirls

**Daichi: Welcome, once again to Slayers Fanmail and Questions!  
Rio: -shows badly drawn banner-  
Daichi: As always, Kaida is down there with the cast... Let's see what they get up to next...**

Kaida: Welcome everyone... I'm happy to announce that someone actually commented instead of sending me messages!  
Everyone: Yay... –sarcastecly-  
Kaida: You guys are so mean... anywho; first letter is from Orihime-San:

_Ok first things first, Zelgadiss you are my favourite character and I support your love to Amelia! Now for the question! Will you ever find your cure or are you finally going to accept yourself for who you are? (Because either way you are HOT!)_

Amelia: Finally, someone who supports our love...  
Kaida: Be quiet, this question is not for you!  
Zelgadis: I appreciate the compliment... but honestly, who'd go for a piece of rock. Of course I'll find my cure, how could I ever forgive myself for being to foolish not to realise the meaning of words of that damn rezo!-goes on about his past-  
Fangirls in the audience: DON'T WORRY ZEL, WE'LL ALWAYS ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE! –Fangirl screams-  
Kaida: Creepy...Anyway, next question fro-  
Amelia: Thank you Orihime for supporting the love we share!  
Kaida: SHUT UP! –Hits her on the head with a mallet- Hehe...  
Rezo: There is no way to turn you back! How many times do I have to tell you!  
Kaida: Let me speak, damn it! –Hits him on the head with mallet- Anyway, as I was saying, our next letter is from LunaStarsMoona-Sama

_Dear Valgaav, why don't you wear any shirts...You're totally sexy without a shirt on, but just for curiosity... I LOVE YOU! PLEASE KIDNAPP ME AND TAKE ME SOMEWHERE WE WE'LL BE ALONE..._

Kaida: Are all these letters from fangirls?  
Lina: Looks like it...  
Kaida: Valgaav, what is your answer to our dear LunaStarsMoona-Sama...  
Valgaav: -baby gurgles-  
Kaida: Umm... can someone go back in time and get the OTHER Valgaav...

-Ten minutes later-

Kaida: FINALY! About time you arrived... anyway! Answer LSMS's question  
Lina: LSMS?  
Kaida: Her name's too long to write... -_-  
Valgaav: How could you ask that, foolish human! If you adore me so much then you should know that I'm allergic to those damn things! Everyone knows that! You call yourself a fangirl! And why would I kidnap you? It would be just a waste of my valuable time! I don't care for you lovesick moron! Burn in hell!  
Kaida: Don't you think that was a bit harsh?  
Valgaav: No, I was being easy on her...  
LunaStarsMoona-Sama: -comes into the studio with a club and drags Valgaav away-  
Kaida: That's what you get when you insult scary fangirls...  
Everyone: Scary... –shiver-  
Kaida: ANYWAY... I think it's time for the next question from cyberimp6

_Question for Xellos: why do you keep referring to who you're working for as "your masters" when Greater Beast Zelas is your boss? (Are you embarrassed because she's also your mother?)_

Zelas: Yea, why is that?  
Zelgadis: We all know the answer to that... -_-  
Xellos: ...Sore wa...Himitsu desu lll^_^lll  
Kaida: -Is ready with mallet- Xellos...  
Xellos: Well...umm...you see... I call them master because...  
Kaida: Because...  
Zelas: Is someone embarrassed of Mommy?  
Xellos: ... lll-_-lll sore wa...  
Kaida: -Hits him with a mallet- I think we understand that he is embarrassed of Beast Master Zelas...  
Zelas: YOU KILLED MY PRIEST/GENERAL... oh well –smokes and drinks wine-  
Kaida: Now that that's over with, we have fanmail from DeztroyzMF4eva

_Dear Syphiel, U r totally awezome! Even tho no-one really likes you, I luv u! U R ma number 1 girl! Forget Gourry, u got me honey! Keep on smiling 'cause it makez me happy._

Syphiel: -blush-  
Kaida: Oooh... it seems our dear Syphiel has an admirer... First time a fanboy's question was on this thing...  
Amelia: Why does Syphiel get a fanmail and I don't?  
Kaida: Because everyone hates you! Anyway, Syphiel what would you like to say to your admirer?  
Syphiel: Thank you, Deztory. I really appreciate the mail and will keep it forever. I'm glad my smile makes you happy –blush and smile-  
Kaida: How sweet... Well, that's it folks!  
Lina: WAIT! Why don't I have any questions or Fanmail, Naga and Syphiel are minor characters! Why do they get praise and not me, the glories main character!  
Kaida: I'm sure that someone will write soon –hint hint-  
Lina: You better hope so...  
Kaida: Lina's getting scary T_T  
Amelia: But she had a point...  
Kaida: SHUT UP! –hits her on the head with mallet again-  
Zelgadis: He should learn to write... -_-  
Kaida: It's called modern lingo  
Zelgadis: . What?

Filia: Hello!  
Kaida: WHERE WERE YOU?  
Filia: I was busy healing my Val-snookie... poor baby...  
Everyone: VAL-SNOOKIE!  
Valgaav: World... please end now... (All the Val-snookie stuff and the 'world please end now' stuff belongs to Amethyst Angel and her wonderful fan-made manga: Slayers Hamlet!)  
Xellos: I know how you fell -_-  
Kaida: Yep, at least now you know the power of fangirls and mothers...  
Everyone: Nod.

Kaida: So, to re-cap: Zelgadis will never give up looking for his search even though Rezo told him it's useless, Valgaav doesn't wear shirts because he's allergic and no, he will not kidnap you. Xellos is embarrassed of Zelas and calls everyone else master, and Syphiel is grateful for the mail and will continue smiling for you all.  
Lina: Interesting...now can we go eat?  
Everyone: We already did... before the show started...  
Lina: WHAT? YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME?  
Kaida: We left you some cheese... Hehe...  
Lina: Darkness beyond twilight...  
Kaida: We're going to run away now... see you next time... RUN FOR YOUR FREAKING SHORT LIVES!

**Rio: They ate before the show?  
****Daichi: Yea, weren't you there... Dragon cuisine...  
****Rio: I was busy... T_T  
****Daichi: I saved you a bit...  
****Rio: YAY! Thankz bro! –they high five-  
****Daichi: Better not tell Lina...  
****Rio: Anyway, remember that if you want your fanmail and or questions on the show, type it down in the reviews!  
****Daichi: That's all from us, until next time!**


End file.
